Who am I now that the kids are gone? Are you wondering about finding your purpose as an empty nester? When I became an empty nester I was not looking forward to it. I found myself looking to this “right-around-the-corner” reality and asking, “What am I supposed to do now?” I will be honest. It was scary. I was no stranger to reinventing my life, and myself, having done so several times during my career, but with half of my life gone, my “what now” question took on a different level than it once did.
My Salvation Story
Jesus became my Savior in 2009, and everything—my worldview, my dreams, my aspirations—shifted through a new lens. Suddenly, my questions changed: “God, now that the kids are out of the house, what do You want me to do?”
At this time, I read a helpful blog series on discovering God’s purpose for one’s life. Here’s some of what I learned:
- 1. To discover God’s purpose, I needed to:
- 2. Discover what I am passionate about
- 3. Listen to my dissatisfaction
- 4. Get input from others about the strengths they see in me
- 5. Recognize my spiritual gifts
It was a good starting point. I knew my passions and gifts, and I had a sense of strengths others recognized in me—but this was only the beginning. This discovery didn’t happen overnight; it’s been a lifelong process. Yet it’s comforting to know that God has known me from the start:
For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. (Psalm 139: 13-14)
Best Laid Plans
I am a dreamer and a visionary, but dreams and visions require an action plan. Looking back, I see times when I chased goals without considering whether they aligned with God’s design for me. Proverbs 16:9 reminds us:
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”
Isn’t it comforting that even when we’re uncertain, God already knows the plans He has for us?
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)
The Quest–Finding Your Purpose as an Empty Nester
Every quest comes with a villain and obstacles—and discovering purpose is no different. Fear and criticism have been my adversaries, whispering that I can’t, or that it’s impossible. But God reminds me:
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us,who can be against us? (Romans 8:31)
Who are your adversaries? Take heart—Scripture is filled with stories of people who succeeded in spite of opposition. Moses, Noah, Paul, the disciples, and even Jesus faced rejection, ridicule, and criticism. Yet their faithfulness brought eternal impact.
One truth sustains me through the quest: my purpose matters for eternity. Yours does too.
“Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, or straw, the work of each will become clear, for the Day will bring it to light.” (1 Corinthians 3:10-15)
I am no longer interested in worldly accolades. I want to follow God’s call faithfully so that when I meet Jesus, I hear:
“Well done, thou good and faithful servant!” (Matthew 25:21)
The journey to finding purpose as an empty nester isn’t easy—but it is worth it.
Reflection Questions
- What aspects of your life bring you dissatisfaction, and what might God be saying through them?
- What strengths and spiritual gifts have others recognized in you that could point to your God-given purpose?
- What fears or criticisms are holding you back from stepping fully into the next season God has for you?
- How can you align your dreams and goals more closely with God’s plans for your life?
- What small step could you take this week to move closer to your purpose in Christ?